Universe....us...God???

So believers say that God created the universe, that he breathed life into what we now have as the laws/equations/theories of physics or set into motion the sequence of events that have led to everything till now. Hawkings says that once the so called everything theory that combines relativity with quantum theory has been successfully formulated, we will be actually able to unveil the mind of God.
Now this God created the universe of which we still know less than an iota of and are still not able to explain everything that we see. The black holes, the big bang, the endless boundless expanse of the universe, whats in a black hole, whats beyond the universe, how did it begin, how will it end, are we inside a black hole......???
In the infinity which is the universe, we are tiny, weeny, puny, insignificant. We were created by a chain of events that led to what we ourselves defined as life. Likewise we defined death, objects which are NOT alive, God, religion, heaven, hell, the universe, black holes. We defined good, bad, right, wrong, justice, injustice...
The fact that we teach ourselves our entirety which we made up ourselves doesn't stop us being, at best, matter with "unique properties" or a collection of particles, like any other object in this universe.
And believers want me to believe that a God is up there pulling strings, rewarding right and punishing wrong, even though the sufferings of millions of innocents over the world and bastards getting away with there wickedness is direct evidence of the contrary. That there is an afterlife, a reward of heaven or a punishment of hell waiting for me in the afterlife.
You think we would ever be able to comprehend the force that is behind everything, IF it exists?
And if it exists in the form that you want me to believe in, do you think He would give a shit??

If the screen in front of our eyes is even real or is it just one objects interpretation of everything else? "Absolute" is after all something that just doesn't exist, does it.

Moving on...

Been so long since i last wrote here, i dont know if anyone even cares to check it out anymore...
Anyways, i am through one of the most stressful times of my life and i feel wiser and grounded. I never imagined so many things could go wrong with me at the same time but then when i think about it, most if not all of it could have been prevented.
It seems like things are falling in place slowly for me, and though my position right now isn't exactly something to write home about, i am pretty sure i will be in a reasonably good position or somewhere close in the next couple months.
Life here (Jersey City) is lonely and the fact that i have a circle of friends at work doesnt really help a lot. Coming back home, going around New York, watching a movie, drinking with friends, going to work....nothing really makes me happy. The good thing is i got a cell phone and so i am atleast in touch with family in India and her and Gautam and friends in Iowa City so it never gets too lonely.
I do understand the reason behind feeling lonely and sad at this point and i am aware of the solution for it. Its just that for all sorts of reasons, that solution is not really an option that i have.
On another note, Prof Pablo and another student is working on the research that i did with him in the last semester and if the study leads to good results, i will have a publication in what is probably the most prestigious HCI conference in the world (SIGCHI).